I’m not going to lie, yesterday was a little rough. We went on a couple long drives and walked around and such, but my stomach would not have it. Crohn’s Disease changes you. One moment you’re yourself, and the next you are your Crohnie Self–they are not the same. Not even distant relatives.
Crohnie Me made us stop the car and turn around. Crohnie Me made us walk painfully slow; we hobbled, really. Crohnie Me said we couldn’t leave a 5 meter radius of the bathroom. (We are in Italy–thus the metric). Crohnie Me made ugly faces in public and may have whimpered a bit.
I remember orientation for college–there was a girl who I was making friends with, but before the night was over, she met Crohnie Me. That friendship didn’t last.
But it wasn’t my fault! I was a horrible travel buddy today, but that wasn’t my fault either!
Except that it kinda was…
This is actually something I’ve struggled with a lot. I want to take responsibility. It doesn’t help to blame genetics–they’re MY genetics. Rather than take responsibility, am I supposed to blame my great great grandparents? No! This is my problem. My great great grandparents are just scapegoats. I don’t want to be ruled by my Crohn’s but it is SO HARD to take responsibility for something you have no control over.
I’m still working on it, but I watched this video and it gave me an idea. It proposes how to do this: “It’s like backwards taking responsibility.”
(This video is actually about taking responsibility for when you are drunk and is by Jenna Marbles, a video blogger that is a bit…colorful with her language. It’s pretty tame until the last 15 seconds–you’ve been warned. It’s a pretty funny video though; I liked it.)
Granted that video’s topic has nothing to do with disabilities, it’s also kinda perfect. It suggests you name your drunk self that way you can blame someone else for your actions, while still blaming yourself. To do this, take the first letter of your first name and switch it with the first letter of your last name, like this: Lirst-name Fast-name.
For example (since we’re in Italy): I’m sure Silvio Berlusconi never had a Bunga Bunga party–but Bilvio Serlusconi…
It’s a good way to stay lighthearted while talking about those bad days, which really is invaluable and kinda genius.
So if you ever dislike a post–blame Ao Jandrea. I had nothing to do with it 😉
Happy Friday Torld Wravaillers!